#Christmas

F**k yeah.

Yes.

Dear glorious reader,

I tried to write a Christmas post in order to make the most of #christmas searches on Twitter. But I couldn’t write anything of any creative value. I had something wonderful planned, with a coherent structure and tangible themes, but like the clustered rock of pistachio waste waiting impatiently at the bottom of my stomach, I couldn’t get it out.

So I’m stuck with this, shit.

I’ve been drinking a lot and gorging myself on pistachios, so needless to say my brain is a long and winding way from being in the right place to address you all formally and wonderfully. I have been busy basking in a truly American festive vacation.

I’ve been waist deep in trifle, mummified in glittered wrapping paper, prickled by polyurethane Ontario Spruce, oodling at fluffy snow, sneezing into embalmed toilet paper, laughing at John Candy trying to make it to Cheboygan, burping Bud Light and Alaskan salmon carbonate fumes, warming by a paraffin faux-wooden fire ignited by a switch on the wall, hoping not to have to say grace, wishing I’d never brought up Obamacare, unable to answer Entertainment questions from Trivial Pursuit from 1981, trying to learn the names of the starting line-up of the LA Lakers (I’ve got Kobe Briant, World Peace, Dwight Howhard and Steve/Kevin Nash, and that’s it so far), and being eternally grateful for every single great deed done for me in the name love.

This has been my first Christmas in America, and it has been absolutely wonderful.

I love you all and I hope that you had a fantastic holiday. Let’s keep the pistachio party going until 2013!

Gawd Bless

RG x

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

5 thoughts on “#Christmas

  1. katja says:

    🙂 Merry Christmas!

  2. Christina says:

    Merry Christmas, Ross!

  3. Astrid Thora says:

    Yes well you know some of us are pagans and celebrate it a bit differently.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: